Tuesday, July 28, 2009

Outsourcing Obama - Jul 28

Hope you found this as funny as I did. Got this great article from snopes.com.
Johnny Cash

The job of President of the United States is being outsourced to India.

What a GREAT IDEA!!!

Washington, DC — June 11, 2009

Congress today announced, that the office of President of the United States of America will be outsourced to India, as of September 1, 2009.

The move is being made in order to save the President's $500,000 yearly salary, and also a record $750 billion in deficit expenditures and related overhead that his office has incurred during the last 3 months.

It is anticipated that $7 trillion can be saved to the end of the President's term. "We believe this is a wise financial move. The cost savings are huge," stated Congressman Thomas Reynolds (R-WA). "We cannot remain competitive on the world stage with the current level of cash outlay," Reynolds noted.

Obama was informed by email this morning of his termination. Preparations for the job move have been underway for some time.

Gurvinder Singh, a tele-technician for IndusTeleservices, Mumbai, India, will assume the office of President as of September 1, 2009. Mr. Singh was born in the United States while his Indian parents were vacationing at Niagara Falls, NY thus making him eligible for the position. He will receive a salary of $320 (USD) a month, but no health coverage or other benefits.

It is believed that Mr. Singh will be able to handle his job responsibilities without a support staff. Due to the time difference between the US and India, he will be working primarily at night. "Working nights will allow me to keep my day job at the Dell Computer call center," stated Mr. Singh in an exclusive interview.

"I am excited about this position. I always hoped I would be President." A Congressional spokesperson noted that while Mr. Singh may not be fully aware of all the issues involved in the office of President, this should not be a problem as Obama had never been familiar with the issues either.

Mr. Singh will rely upon a script tree that will enable him to respond effectively to most topics of concern. Using these canned responses, he can address common concerns without having to understand the underlying issue at all. "We know these scripting tools work," stated the spokesperson. "Obama has used them successfully for years, with the result that some people actually thought he knew what he was talking about."

Obama will receive health coverage, expenses, and salary until his final day of employment. Following a two-week waiting period, he will be eligible for $140 a week unemployment for 26 weeks. Unfortunately he will not be eligible for Medicaid, as his unemployment benefits will exceed the allowed limit.

Obama has been provided with the outplacement services of Manpower, Inc. to help him write a resume and prepare for his upcoming job transition. According to Manpower, Obama may have difficulties in securing a new position due to a lack of any successful work experience during his lifetime.

A greeter position at WalMart was suggested due to Obama's extensive experience at shaking hands, as well as his 'special' smile.


This humor piece about the U.S. presidency's being outsourced to India is actually a version of a 2004 satirical article about President George W. Bush. Although the 2009 version's topical references — a weak economy, a growing budget deficit, the looming threat of job outsourcing — might strike a chord with many Americans, and those who are no fans of the current U.S. president might appreciate its sly digs at Barack Obama, why we've received so many inquiries about this particular article is something of a puzzle, as its premise isn't at all plausible: The U.S. Constitution and U.S. law have very specific provisions about the line of succession to the presidency, and that line does not encompass Congress' arbitrarily bypassing the vice president (and everyone else in the chain of succession) to hand over the office of chief executive to an unelected foreign resident. Not to mention that if the U.S. presidency were really set to change hands within the next few months, that subject would be the dominant topic of every American news outlet, not an obscure bit of information spread solely via e-mail.

If nothing else, the notion that the U.S. presidency would be given over to someone who would undertake it as a moonlighting job for $320 per month crosses the line from believability to absurdity.

Wednesday, July 22, 2009

Practical Evangelism - Jul 22

Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.
(Hebrews 12:2)

Did you ever wonder why so many well-meaning evangelists fail? They have their hearts in the right place. They love Jesus and they love people. Yet their efforts continue to fall flat. Here are a few pointers as to how to be a better communicator for Christ.

Why The 'Big Stuff' Doesn't Work

Do you wonder about Heaven and life after death? Are you fascinated by the concept of salvation and a resurrection body? I find myself wondering about these 'big' things all the time. But do you well and truly conceive it? Can we compare any of these mysteries to our present condition? No we cannot. I believe in Heaven (and the existence of Hell) as well as the glorious idea of salvation through grace. I don't understand it but I do believe. I also believe in the idea of the resurrection, the tribulation and the rapture of the church. But do I fully comprehend it? No I don't. Guess what? Most Christians don't either.

'Just Getting Through The Day': A Faith That Sustains 24/7

Most people, especially in modern Western countries, are so busy with their lives. They're not thinking about such weighty topics as eternity or anything else remotely associated with God. Getting through the day with their sanity intact is victory enough. They're looking for the strength to persevere for one more day, whether it be a Monday morning or a Friday afternoon.

Wisdom and Discernment: Immediate Dividends of Salvation

In any major city (such as the Greater Toronto Area), there are probably countless seminars being taught at any given time. Some have to do with finances and business matters. Others deal with marriage and family. A location is booked for a certain date at a certain time and most often a registration fee has to be paid prior to attending. Now imagine a seminar offering the wisdom of the ages. You chose the location, date and time. Even better, the registration fee has been waived! Who wouldn't attend such a seminar? Sadly, many do by rejecting Christ. Even if there was no Heaven to gain or Hell to fear I'd still give my heart to Christ for the advantages offered above: wisdom and discernment.

Reality or Fantasy: Which One Will You Choose?

The world is awash in lies and clever fabrications. So much data yet so little truth! If I were conversing with someone about God, I'd lovingly ask: 'Wouldn't you want to know why geopolitical events are happening the way that they are?', 'Why does the world obsess over Israel?' and 'Wouldn't you want the ability to see the 'big picture' accurately when everybody else is in perplexity?'

Salvation: An Abundant Life Lived to the Fullest

Do you want mediocrity or excellence? Are you the man/woman you've always wanted to be? Do you want your marriage to be a loving one or a joyless (read: NO SEX!) union. If you have kids, do you want to send them out as a sheep before the slaughter? Of course not. I am of the firm belief that anything worth doing is worth doing well. I am also of the firm belief that everything starts with salvation. Want to understand the Middle East? Gotta start with salvation. Want to be a good citizen/husband/father? Start with salvation. If you want the blessings of God in your life, you start with salvation by way of the cross.

The Author and Finisher of our Faith

It is vital the evangelist grasp fully the concept of sanctification. Start with the little stuff first. Only the most foolhardy and prideful will consider themselves to be in need of nothing. Once a person sees the immediate advantages to be had, curiosity about the bigger mysteries of our faith will naturally be piqued. The new believer will, over a period of time, become aware of an entire body of knowledge that had been sealed to them before. Herein lies the key: Keep It Simple Stupid! Then let God do the rest. He knows what He's doing!

Johnny Cash

Sunday, July 12, 2009

Exactly Where I Need To Be - Jul 12

At the LORD's command the Israelites set out, and at his command they encamped. As long as the cloud stayed over the tabernacle, they remained in camp. When the cloud remained over the tabernacle a long time, the Israelites obeyed the LORD's order and did not set out.
(Numbers 9:18:19)

Forgive me dear readers for not posting sooner. As of this writing, I'm now four weeks into my studies. Two modules completed (Word and Excel) with many more to come. Between my studies and my part-time job I've had little time for blogging. For me, there's a point of professionalism and a sense of pride in consistently maintaining a blog month in and month out. Here then are my musings on becoming a new/old student again.


Many of us exclaim 'Oh, if only I was over there rather than over here! Surely I would be much happier then!' But is that really true? Most of the time we are thwarted in our ambitions to be 'over there' when our attention ought to be focused here. Even if you are part of that 'lucky' minority, who's to say that happiness will automatically follow once you're 'over there'?.

Important Questions I Had To Ask Myself

Does it not make more career sense to pursue this paralegal stuff right after high school? On the surface it does. I would've completed my studies (from a public college like Sheridan or Humber) and still end up working for Tipco. Truth be told, I wouldn't have been mature enough for such an undertaking that early in my life. But right now is a different. I guess you could say I'm your classic late bloomer. Just as my time in Tipco was readying me for this moment, my time being spent now as a student is serving me for my good.

Waiting for His Perfect Timing

The scripture I chose was read to me this Sunday morning at church. 'How appropriate!' I said to myself. So many of us are so self-willed that we want everything right now. Yet if I had started in April, I wouldn't have had the part-time Commissionaires job needed to make ends meet. In a larger context, had this layoff been significantly delayed by a number of years it would seem too late. And if I'd been laid off years earlier I doubt I would have had the wherewithal to properly deal with the situation.

A Biblical Parallel

The Israelites had to endure slavery in Egypt before they became a nation. When found guilty of unbelief, another forty years as desert nomads was sentenced upon them before they could enter the Promised Land. Even then they still faced obstacles from possessing their inheritance. Does that path sound similar to you? I find it true of my situation. Of course God could've given the Israelites everything up front. Yet how would that serve His purpose? His message for the Israelites was clear: You walk by faith and not by sight. When I tell you to stay, you stay. When I tell you to move, you'd better get moving!

God: Both the 'Irresistible Force' and the 'Immovable Rock' - But Only If We're Listening!

So if we move when we're supposed to stay and stay when we're supposed to move, nothing but disaster will be the logical result. Forty years of futility was the penalty God had to impose on His people. Israel was out of Egypt but 'Egypt' wasn't out of Israel! I wouldn't want anyone to have their precious time wasted due to disobedience. Accepting Christ and learning to move when He moves is the surest path to success and happiness.

Johnny Cash