Sunday, September 07, 2008

Calling Dr. Love - Sep 7

This is the final part of a trilogy on relationships. Though currently single myself, I feel blessed to share some Godly wisdom when it comes to human relationships. For earlier reference, I strongly suggest you read these two posts before continuing:

The Most Beautiful Woman in the World

The Most Interesting Man in the World

Two Problems: Not Enough or Too Much

What exactly do I mean by this? As I said before, the quickest way to scuttle a courtship is to enforce a rigid and unforgiving equality. It's balance, not 'equality' that men and women seek.

Not Enough! Not Enough!!

Alas men, this happens in the majority instance. Not flattering I know, but we men must face up to reality. Despite the feminist caterwauling that you hear, women want a guy that's confident and assured. A weak man is one that willfully abdicates his responsibilities leaving a frustrated woman in his wake. You don't have to be the strong and silent Clint Eastwood type you see in the movies. Show backbone and be a man of principles and have a stout heart. A weak and indecisive male forces her to be the decision maker. Thus it emasculates him further and the vicious cycle trends downwards. Which leads me to my next point.

Too Much: The Oprah Winfrey Scenario

I feel for Steadman Graham. No man should tolerate such humiliation from a woman. Again, the key word here is balance! Is Oprah trying to be both the man and the woman in the relationship? No wonder Mr. Graham feels overwhelmed! While this is a minority scenario, sadly I see this trending upward. There's nothing wrong with a woman who wishes to take the lead from time to time. Some men may even prefer such a strong women! However, the woman should not lead all the time, every time. Let him have the reigns once in a while! You won't regret it.

Too Much (Part Two): The Marginalized Woman

Guys, listen to me. Make sure that she is fully included in the decision making process. I cannot stress this point enough. The imbalance here is not that the male is not exercising leadership. Indeed, he is exercising too much! Get rid of the 'Little Hitler' syndrome and your woman will be eternally grateful. The woman must be given a place as an equal partner at the table. She may (or may not) defer the decision to her partner, but by making sure she gets a full say - not a partial one - will make her feel as a treasured partner. Her feminine insight is to be sought after and valued. A man should lead a woman by the most delicate of strings, not a heavy chain.

Word to the Wise to Those Who Advance Same-Sex Relationships

Am I about to deliver a homophobic rant? Absolutely not! However, I'd be remiss if I didn't include this. I have often used the term 'balance' to describe the perfect relationship. The problem of a gay marriage is this: It is in a state of permanent and entrenched imbalance. Furthermore, there is no antidote to this problem. Though the courts have given gays the legal right to marry, this doesn't mean that it's right nor does it indicate long-term success. A man cannot complement a man and a woman cannot complement a woman. These are the hard facts, not hate speech! Reality has such a horrible habit of offending delicate secular-progressive sensibilities!

Johnny Cash

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