Wednesday, January 28, 2009

Shutting the Mouths of Demons - Part 2 - Jan 28

A Biblical rebuke for the ignorant:

"Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother's eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? How can you say to your brother, 'Let me take the speck out of your eye,' when all the time there is a plank in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother's eye.
(Matthew 7:3-5)

My good friend Donald is at it again. Listen dude, all three of your most recent comments today have been rejected. Any further comments will also be rejected. So, now that you mock my belief, I shall mock your unbelief.

The Banality of Evil: Mediocrity is the Enemy of Excellence

Donald to me represents the epitome of mediocrity and secular elitist arrogance. Seeing as he cannot rise to my level of spiritual understanding he must therefore try to pull me down. Let me give you a snapshot of a day in the life of my new 'friend':

Drives a mediocre car to a mediocre job and receives mediocre pay. Once his mediocre efforts come to the end of another mediocre workday he drives home to his mediocre house. Upon his arrival, his mediocre-looking wife greets him as he eats his mediocre supper. His mediocre kids go to a mediocre school with mediocre teachers and come home with mediocre grades. After that, they watch mediocre TV programs (Mind you, 'mediocre TV' is admittedly a redundant term.) till evening. After watching hours of mediocre sit-coms he has mediocre sex with his mediocre wife (which in turn produced the mediocre kids). After a minute or two of this mediocre sex he falls off his mediocre wife and goes to sleep, exhausted. Thus mediocrity propagates and perpetuates itself. Now did I miss anything?

Hell is an Atheists Paradise!

"Enter through the narrow gate. For wide is the gate and broad is the road that leads to destruction, and many enter through it. But small is the gate and narrow the road that leads to life, and only a few find it.
(Matthew 7:13-14)

Donald, you'll love hell. No nasty Christian bloggers to deal with. No churches will be found there, neither will you find a Bible. It'll be great! All evidence of God's love for you will be swept away. All your earthly efforts and humanist ambitions will be rendered null and void. There will be no-one there to comfort you, not even your mediocre wife and kids. Excruciating pain and mental anguish will be your permanent companions. God will forget that you ever existed. The loss will be total, complete, and eternal. Oh happy times! Hell is the greatest catastrophic loss a man or woman could ever suffer. Maybe hell will have some Lionel trains for you to play with (with the number 666 attached) or a fat cat to kill but I doubt it.

'Your friend in Christ'? You Gotta Be Kidding Me!

"Not everyone who says to me, 'Lord, Lord,' will enter the kingdom of heaven, but only he who does the will of my Father who is in heaven. Many will say to me on that day, 'Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in your name, and in your name drive out demons and perform many miracles?' Then I will tell them plainly, 'I never knew you. Away from me, you evildoers!'
(Matthew 7:21-23)

Donald, you are not my friend. Never have been and never will be. It takes a great deal of gall to sign off in such a fashion. Give it a rest, man! If anyone is guilty of being a bully, it's you (see top). A good swift kick to the testicles is too kind a reward for your efforts. Now beat it!

Lastly, thanks to Shackleford for your friendship and encouragement. Cheers, mate!

Johnny Cash

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